Disclaimer: This entry was written when I was still upset, but I decided to type it anyway because I felt the need to get all this out of my system. I'm not good at articulating myself at the best of times, so please bear with this.
Okay, so Hometown Throwdown has been and gone. I had a lot of fun on the night, the bands played well, the people who were there had an excellent time and the follow up night ran really smoothly. There was lots of support and lots of people helped out doing small jobs that just helped pull the night together. Thanks to all of you, I really freaking appreciate it. Not even kidding on that one. Major props go out to Mike from San Salvador for coming all the way to Sydney with the biggest flu ever to play.
Despite all that, what I wanted to achieve didn't happen.
Why? Maybe you're thinking I have too higher expectations, but here is my explanation. I hope you understand my reasons. This is complete, utter and blunt honesty here.
The reason I love putting on such an event in the first place is because I get to involve two of my favourite things: church and audio/music. Bringing the two together under one roof and making them good with the skills I have gives me the biggest thrill. So much so that for the past 2 months I've literally been living and breathing the entire show, planning it all in my head with meticulous detail so as on the night once the first band is playing the entire night runs itself and runs like magic. From handing out flyers to people on the street, to putting them up in shops, getting them handed out in schools, spending the entire day looking up and emailing every Anglican & Baptist (I only got through A and B in the White Pages) church in Sydney about the gig, I've been doing a lot of hard work.
Why so much? Because I'm sick of so many things I see going on that this is my way of bring able to help make a difference to so many of them.
Some of those things are:
- Bad church events. The number of tacky and badly organised church events that go on in every church around the place, not just in Sydney but everywhere, just makes me feel so embarrassed to encourage people to go to them.
- Stereotypes. You know what I mean. Most people I talk to who aren't Christians think that church is a boring place where you go on Sundays because you have to because a guy up the front is telling you you're an evil person. They also think that we hate gay people and just want their money.
- Bad bands. There are so many bad Christian bands out there. Not even kidding.
So, what do I want to achieve, considering the feelings I have towards those items above (and many others)?
Well, what I want to do is be able to share my passion for being a Christian with other people, particularly those who aren't Christians, by showing them that what really goes on in church doesn't have to be what they expect it to be.
I want to show them that it is a place full of good people with many many great skills who just want to show love to them and each other. They don't hate people just because they're different, no matter whether it be because of their orientation, race, culture, background or anything else. It's a place where things are peaceful, fun and where it's attendees are striving for a bigger and better world.
I want to show them the power of God's love by demonstrating to them a friendly, unified, selfless and giving community of people who only want the best from everyone.
I want a church to be a place that people WANT to go to.
Some people would argue that Saturday night's event was just that. But I would argue otherwise.
Now, we got 240 people through the door. Pretty much everyone would say that was awesome. My main issue with this is the number of people that DIDN'T come.
Before it happened, I've been spending every minute of my spare time telling everyone I can about the show, getting people excited about it and trying to get them to come along. Through that process a large number of people said they would come who didn't show up. Most of those people aren't Christians, but a lot of them are.
The problem I have with this is how am I meant to break down barriers in peoples minds, help push good church events and show people what God's love can really be like if the people that really need to see and hear it don't show up?
I put on a show that was extremely lightweight on the Christian content to even try and get people to even turn up, with the option of hearing it the next night after having a great time the night before and being more comfortable with the idea, but they still didn't come.
Pretty much all the people that were at the show were from other churches, not from the general public. How am I to reach the general public, have them come along and achieve the goals I want, when after spending every waking moment putting all my effort in to try and make an event (a really kick ass event, to be honest) that even a small number of them could show up to and have a good time, and they don't?
I know the show was great and I know it ran really well. I know the bands were great and I know everyone that was there had a good time. The problem is that I just can't get my mind off all the people that didn't come, especially those who told me they would and didn't.
I may feel a whole lot different about this in a week or two when I've spoken to more people about it, but currently, the night after it happened I don't feel very satisfied.
I know I can put on a really good show with really good bands and very honest and open intentions, but what use is it if the people who need to hear it, don't?