an explanation...

today i've been trying so flipping hard to work out what on earth these text books are telling me!

i've got this maths module to do for uni and i can't work it out.

so far it's been on quadratics, which i didn't understand at first, but mananged to scrape through that bit. now it's moved on to differentiation.

i don't understand it. i just simply don't get it.

i failed this subject last year at this point because i didn't get it then either, and i'm getting so frustrated at it all that when i even look at the smegging textbook or workbook it just looks like scribbles on a page.

i try and read stuff, but i just don't understand what it's trying to tell me. the worst part is it's not like i can just skip on over to the next bit, because you need to know the beginning of that bit to do it

i don't know what to do. maths just isn't my thing....

it all feels so darn hopeless!

i just wanna pass and be happy that i can do it and move on, but no, it's stuck in my face like a big fat loser sign. just sitting there staring at me while it's picking its nose and scratching its bum. going apsolutely nowhere and getting increasingly more annoying as the days tick by.

i missed out on handing in last weeks assignment (only 2%) but thats not what i'm worried about. what i'm worried about is that i need to know the stuff that was in the assignment so i can do the next assignment, which is due tomorrow. if i don't know how to do that then i don't know how to do the next assignment. if i don't know how to do all them, then i don't know how to do most of my exam at the end of semester.

then what?

big fat stinking loser of the century.

uni fees wasted. time wasted. all of it wasted.

ARGH